Fortune Bags Pizza

It's Lunar New Year in Singapore. Pizza Hut wanted on the New Year bandwagon, so they came up with one of the most bizarre and unappetizing pizzas I've ever seen. It's called the Fortune Bags Pizza, which isn't a particularly appetizing name either (mmm...bags). It sounds like quite the hodgepodge of flavors. According to the Pizza Hut website, in addition to the "money bags" the pizza is topped with "oriental sauce, diced BBQ chicken, sliced mushrooms, pineapple chunks, and capped with a sprinkling of chicken floss." Of course. Can't have pineapple chunks with a sprinkling of chicken floss. And what is IN those money bags?! They're so gross and mysterious.

It just looks so chewy
Image from http://www.pizzahut.com.sg/

Some Seaweed with those Fries?

McDonald's works a little differently in Singapore. For instance, you can order your Happy Meal online, and 10 minutes later some guy with a McD's backpack will show up on a motorbike, delivering it straight to you. And if you think the regular American version of Mickey D's fries is just a little bland, no fear. Singapore McDonald's has you covered with seaweed shaker fries!

Because seaweed is just what you expect to get at McDonald's

There are some weird things about these fries. First, the fact that they exist at all. Second, the fact that when you order them you expect to get some fries covered in green flakes, but you don't. You get regular fries, a paper bag, and a packet of dried seaweed. You're supposed to dump the fries and the seasoning into the bag and then shake it up. When you open it, voila! Seaweed fries. I tried them. Rather predictably, I thought they tasted weird. I mean really, eating McDonald's fries are all about doing something absurdly, artery-cloggingly bad for you. Why bring a healthy thing like seaweed into this?

Not the Same in Singapore

When we tell people we have Pizza Hut in Singapore, they're always surprised to hear it.  What they don't realize is that the Pizza Huts in Asia aren't serving up the traditional pepperoni and cheese pies to which we Americans have grown so accustomed.  No, they have selections like this, which were advertised on their website:

A crustacean...from Pizza Hut?

Like onion rings, but grosser

It has it all!  Loads of seafood AND pineapple, all on a PIZZA!

Seriously guys, ease up on the pineapple.

So maybe now you understand how we can show up in the U.S., craving a tasty slice of Papa John's?

Salmon Sticks

I have nothing against tasty fish.  And I definitely have no qualms about delicious pasta.  But when you put the two together, jam them into a stick with some cream sauce, and then deep-fry the concoction...well, then I start to have my doubts.  Not KFC!  They think it's a great idea, and that's why they're serving up salmon sticks in some of their restaurants in Thailand. 

"We go to great lengths to please you!"  You sure do...but I'm not pleased.

Would you eat it?